First Nightmare
by Dawnstorm101
Summary: Nora having a close call with a metahuman leaves Barry terrified, so he turns to Joe for some midnight advice on fatherhood.


A/N: It's been too long since I wrote Flash fic and I am _dying_ for the dad/big bro Barry content I hope will be in this season, so I had to throw a little something together cause I'm impatient. I need the fluff.

* * *

 _Barry dropped the failed speed bazooka, staring in horror at Savitar. "Why didn't it work?"_

 _"I spent an eternity in a trap just like that," Savitar answered in his creepy voice, holding up a familiar glowing stone. "You think I didn't know how to prevent it from happening again?"_

 _"The philosopher's stone," Barry whispered._

 _"It's made of calcified Speed Force energy, and_ you _gave it to me."_

 _"No," Barry rasped, panic surging through him. "Guys… guys!"_

 _Tracy's only reply was a horrified "I failed."_

 _"Joe!" Barry yelled, his gaze finally dropping to Nora. To his daughter, lying helpless on the ground, letting out a terrified sob as she realized what was about to happen._

 _Joe didn't respond, but before he could fire off a single shot, Savitar grabbed Nora by the back of her jacket, and Barry knew Joe wouldn't risk shooting now. "You stuck me with Speed Force for an eternity of hell. Now, welcome to yours."_

 _Barry held out a hand, pleading, moving closer. "No, don't do this."_ Don't kill my daughter. _"Don't do this!"_

 _Savitar held Nora out, and her sobs sliced through Barry's heart. He had one job, one job that mattered more than anything in the multiverse: Protect his little girl. And now here she was, crying, shaking, helpless in the arms of a supervillain._

 _"Now, finally, I am free of you."_

 _"Daddy!" Nora sobbed._

 _Barry's voice shook, but he didn't care. "I'm begging you, just-"_

 _"Daddy!"_

 _"You lose, Barry."_

 _Time slowed._

 _The spear jutted out from Savitar's fist. Barry screamed, trying to run. The milliseconds crawled by, the spear inching closer to his daughter's back. Memories swirled through Barry's mind, a lifetime of raising and loving his only child spurring him forward, taunting him. He had to save her. He had to._

 _Time slammed back into normal speed._

 _She fell lifeless into his arms._

Barry started awake, a gasp stealing his breath. Iris stirred beside him, shifting closer to him but not quite waking. He exhaled in a rush, lifting a hand to toy lightly with Iris's hair. For a minute, he tried to stay in bed, tried to count on that tried and true technique to calm him back down.

But not tonight. No, this was a different fear, stronger even than those months when he thought Iris would die. He didn't even know if it could be soothed, but he did know that lying silently in the darkness wouldn't do anything.

So, careful not to disturb Iris, he slipped out of bed. Picking up his phone, he typed a quick text: _Can I come over?_

But before he could go anywhere, he needed to see her. So he headed downstairs, sneaking around the couch where Nora slept.

Nora. His daughter.

She looked so peaceful, curled up under the blanket. And Barry hardly knew her, but looking at her, he was overwhelmed by his love for her. The awkward babbling that was all him, the beautiful face that was all Iris, the strength that was both of them. He could see all of that, combined into one precious soul that his every instinct screamed at him to protect.

And he almost hadn't.

His phone buzzed and he hurried to quiet it. _Hurry up, kid, before I pass out._

Barry smiled, threw on some running clothes, and ran over to Joe's place. When he phased through the door to avoid accidental squeaking, he found Joe on the couch, a parenting book open on his lap, though he wasn't reading it. He was just staring off into space, half-asleep.

"Joe?"

Joe looked around, and the remnants of Barry's nightmare must've been written across his face, because he was on his feet in an instant, all traces of exhaustion gone from his eyes. "What's wrong, Bar?"

"I had a nightmare. About… about Savitar. But it… it wasn't Iris this time. It was Nora."

"Ah," Joe said. "The first nightmare of fatherhood."

Barry scrubbed a hand over his face. "She should be a stranger," he said. "But when that meta nearly got her today…"

"It was like your world was crashing down in front of you," Joe finished.

Barry nodded, dropping his hand. "How do you do it, Joe?"

Joe ran a hand over his head. "Come here, son."

Barry followed him to Jenna's room – Iris's old room. She was fast asleep in her crib, thumb tucked in her mouth, wearing a Star Trek onesie proclaiming "Hug me. Resistance is futile." Cisco's gift, probably. And it wasn't wrong.

Gently, Joe picked her up, and there was a twinkle in his eye as he gazed down at her. But he didn't hold her for more than a moment, instead passing her to Barry. He took her into his arms, his baby sister, and cradled her as tenderly as if she were the most precious thing in the world. She wriggled, shifting deeper into his arms.

"She's adorable," Barry whispered.

"She is," Joe agreed. "And God, I would die for her without a moment's hesitation. Same goes for you, Iris, Wally, and Joanie. Because a parent has one drive that matters more than anything: Protect your kids. And whether they're pint-sized bundles or fully-grown speedsters charging into danger, that drive never lessens. In fact, it only grows, because when you grow up, the simple fact is that I can't protect you from everything. And it's terrifying."

"So how…?"

"Two things. First, you remember their victories," Joe said. "When Iris struggled in school, I remembered all the times she studied her ass off to beat the odds. When I see you fall as The Flash, I remember all the times you've gotten back up. And when you remember those victories, you have faith that your kid will always manage to get back up."

Jenna waved her hand, letting out a sleepy babble. Barry let her catch his thumb and she latched on tight, wriggling a moment more before settling back into peaceful sleep. Barry smiled softly, flashing back to the aftermath of the fight, the moment where Nora hugged him as if she intended to never let go, and he hugged her right back. Both of them bruised and rattled, but alive and together.

"And the second," Joe continued, "is to know that your kid is never alone. Even before you came along, I could lean on the other cops in the department when I needed help with Iris. And even now, when you and Wally being speedsters scares the living daylights outta me, I know you have support. Wally has the Legends, and you have Iris and Cisco and Caitlin and Ralph. And I know that, when I'm not there, you kids still have people to protect and help you."

Barry remembered Cisco and Ralph hurrying to check on Nora, and Caitlin patching up the cut on her cheek, Iris watching over her shoulder. Watching Joe and Cecile laugh with her as she cooed over Jenna, Barry's daughter already healthy and happy again not even an hour later. Safe and sound, maybe not because of Barry, but because of his team. Her family.

Joe wrapped his arm around Barry's shoulders, and Barry leaned into the embrace. "Having kids is the single most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, Bar. So much can go wrong, and it can happen in the blink of an eye. But it's also brought me so much joy and love and… and _light_. So much light. And it makes all of the terror more than worth it."

Barry ran his thumb over Jenna's cheek, wiping off a drop of drool, realizing that once, Nora had looked like this. An adorable, perfect little bundle of joy, a promise of a bright future, a symbol of his undying love for Iris. Someone that, one day soon, he would cradle in his arms for the first time.

Iris bringing up kids at Jenna's welcome home party had terrified him.

Now, he longed for that day with all his heart.

Barry rested his head on Joe's shoulder. "I can imagine."


End file.
